Piece of a missing puzzle

1/28/12

Head held high
I walk into a room
so much like all the rest.
I can feel the warm buzz of conversation
and the sparkle of eyes meeting.
Although the space is large
and the people many.
I can't seem to find a place.
Everything is filled.
the engaging light
has managed to saturate
only the dark space around me.
I'm there,
but it doesn't feel like it.
I'm not invisible, I just don't fit.
I'm puzzle piece number
501
in a
500
piece puzzle.
I don't understand what makes this difference.
but it's real
and this isn't the first time I've known.
Every time I'm on that stage...
on any stage.
I am fighting to belong.
fighting for respect
forget affection or camaraderie.
I just wish...
I fit. 
Maybe I just haven't found my puzzle...
Maybe I'm a complete picture
all
by
my
lonesome
self.
vibrant
in a world of Grey.
Black in a
Golden one.
I don't mean to be a bother...
but have you seen my world?
No?
well... thank you all the same.

______________________________

and here's a free bonus! lol. something I wrote down a while back and just decided to throw in.

1/3/12 (twenty words)

trembling
from the
words
 getting caught
inside...
wonder
at what a few
seconds
and twenty words on a
digital screen
could
damage.
My heart.
My trust.
You just thought it was
free,
didn't you?
well, you were wrong.
My trust is fragile
and rare.
did you hear the drop
all the way across the miles
when it hit the floor
and shattered?
you can pick it up
out of the trash..
it's there on top of the memories
and your letter.
 try to give it back...
but I won't take it.
 or you.
cause when it breaks...
it breaks for good.