Wholly Broken

I've always wanted to stand
but the shifting tides
of change and pain
have made my grounds unsteady.
I've always wanted to grow,
but the darkened rainless sky
over me
never gave me warmth.
I wanted to fly,
but the ropes and chains
entangling my hands
never allowed me to reach
to the ocean wind
and let it take me.
Drifting, but drowning.
Trapped and trampled.
Running never gave me anything
but empty lungs.
selling myself only earned me
a brittle heart.
I wondered how peace could be so close
and let so very far away.
Within grasp,
but out of reach.
My screams never fell of deaf ears,
but I didn't know
how to accept the embrace offered every moment.
When loss ripped through my being
it took everything I had.
and it took everything I had, gone,
to make me see what I needed.
Surrender.
It made no sense
to give myself
when I had nothing left.
but now it does.
He didn't want what I had.
He just wanted me.
wholly broken and empty,
so He could show his power
and grace and mighty love
when I rose up off my knees,
a new creation,
finally a loved daughter and bride.